Just Say No to Semi-Homemade

80% store bought, 20% homemade = 100% mediocrity.

I don't mean to sound foodie snobby...but give me a break. Food TV...what were you thinking?

I was willing to overlook this Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee silliness as a moment of indiscretion...I think we all have one of those from time to time. The Lakers did have Kwame Brown, after all. But to give this woman and her table-scapes...yes table-scapes a second show, Sandra's Money Saving Meals...well, I'm speechless.

I know, I know. She's had a hard life, and come a long way. And I know that's she speaking to the busy home cook who's just trying to get it done. I know. But surely there is a better way to make spaghetti than with an entire jar of pre-minced garlic and an entire bottle of red wine. And countless packets of powdered onion soup mix. Open two cans and call it dinner. Is this the best she saying we can do?

I hope not. I get that most people don't exactly share my excitement at the very thought of perusing Whole Foods for new and exciting produce and dinner ideas...and maybe some semi-homemade applications are preferable. But please Sandy...cook...something! I honestly think that anyone who can read can cook, and there really is a life that exists outside of canned, processed foods, that don't involve countless hours of cooking. I wish this is what she would tell people on her show. More food. Less decorative glitter/matching outfits with her set.

Exhibit A

Chicken Scaloppini with Spring Vegetables

Ingredients

• 2 1/2 cups seasoned diced potatoes (recommended: Reser's)
• 2 cups frozen sliced carrots
• 2 cups frozen early harvest peas
• 2 cups frozen haricots verts
• 2 1/4 pounds thin-sliced chicken breast fillets, rinsed and patted dry
• 1 (1.8-ounce) packet leek soup mix, divided (recommended: Knorr)
• 1 (10 3/4-ounce) can condensed cream of asparagus soup (recommended: Campbell's)
• 1/2 cup white wine, preferably Chardonnay
• Vegetable oil
• Flour, for dredging

Directions

Combine all vegetables in the bottom of a 5-quart slow cooker.

Whisk together 2/3 of the leek soup mix with the condensed soup and wine. Pour over vegetables. Cover and cook on LOW setting for 4 hours.

Heat oil in a large skillet. Combine the rest of the leek soup mix with some flour. Dredge chicken fillets in flour mixture and place in skillet. Cook for about 2 1/2 minutes each side.

Remove vegetables from slow cooker and arrange in a serving dish. Top with chicken.

Ok...spring vegetables. Let's see what these encompass...pre-diced potatoes and a plethora of frozen vegetables. If that doesn't say spring, I don't know what does. And don't even get me started on her calling this a scaloppini. I can't even think about the ridiculous amount of sodium in this recipe.

And, this in from Anthony Bourdain.

SANDRA LEE: Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped. Her death-dealing can-opening ways will cut a swath of destruction through the world if not contained. I would likely be arrested if I suggested on television that any children watching should promptly go to a wooded area with a gun and harm themselves. What’s the difference between that and Sandra suggesting we fill our mouths with Ritz Crackers, jam a can of Cheez Wiz in after and press hard? None that I can see. This is simply irresponsible programming. Its only possible use might be as a psychological warfare strategy against the resurgent Taliban--or dangerous insurgent groups. A large-racked blonde repeatedly urging Afghans and angry Iraqis to stuff themseles with fatty, processed American foods might be just the weapon we need to win the war on terror.

And you thought I was mean. Well.