Easier Said Than Done

Aren't there too many of these things?

Like...

"I really shouldn't eat my 5th (ok...8th) cookie of the day...but maybe if I eat this little one..."

"Maybe today is the day that I'll organize my pantry"

"I'm not going to eat any cookies/brownies/sugary snacks today"

Or, today's easier said than done theme: "I'm really going to figure out this operations management bs"

Sigh. So naive.

In my defense, I did try. I even went to school to study. Then I did everything I could not to make time to study. I ran a few errands. Ate some frozen yogurt and Milk+Honey in Costa Mesa. Seasonal flavor was orange-mango. Like a creamsicle bar! Yummy! Perused a few cookbooks. Contemplated dinner. Washed my clothes and sheets. Went for a run. Made dinner.



Panzanella made from the leftover ciabatta, wild arugula and tomato from today's lunch. And little chunks of gruyere cheese in a broken balsamic vinaigrette.

I really wanted to make a plum cake with these cute and amazingly sweet plums I found at the farmer's market this weekend. But, I had to draw the line somewhere. Sigh. I compromised and just ate one of the plums.

I even called my dad. It is Father's Day, after all. He's still hard at work at the Hyatt. Apparently, there's a fire on the pali, which means he'll be spending the night at the hotel. Not that he minds. All in a day's work, I'm sure.

I never call him at work, so I didn't know what to expect. Here's what I got:

Dude: Hyatt Regency Maui Bell Desk. How may I help you?
me: Can talk to Russell (my dad)?
Dude: Try hold on, yeah. (I hear him calling for my dad in the background)
Other Dude: Hello?
me: (thinking...you're not my dad...) Umm...Russell stay over there? Can talk to him?
Other Dude: Oh. (I hear him say, "Russell, try for put down the stuff. Your daughter stay on the phone.)
me: Daddy, it's Clarice. (To eliminate confusion. I once spent 5 minutes with him on the phone, and he thought I was Nicole the whole time. I wondered why he kept asking me if I needed a ride home.)

We proceed to talk for a few minutes about Kobe, Kobe Doin Work, how Lebron never made it to the finals cause sometimes the Lebron show just doesn't cut it, how the Magic don't got it, how Courtney Lee choked, how DHoward choked at the free throw line, how awesome the Lakers are (ok that was just me), how Tiger is really down the crapper right now...but according to Daddy, will make a comeback.

He is Tiger Woods' number one fan in Hawaii. Self-proclaimed, I might add.

And now...back to operations...maybe. Cycle time on this has been slow at best.

Working Lunch

Or maybe just lunch.

I had this fabulous idea yesterday that we could have a study lunch. Corn chowder, Chicken Caesar sandwiches and cream cheese swirl brownies for Mike. Truth is, I owe this dude for putting up with my drunken antics one happy hour a couple quarters back. I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say that it involved a couple shots of Crown...among other things. Sleeping on a bench inside a pho restaurant. Wanting to sleep on the pavement outside the bar. And some kicking. You get the idea.

And here's the lunch part of the "working lunch".



XXX Vitamin Water courtesy of Mike.



Sandwich close up. Look at that yummy wild arugula.



Corn chowder. The cobs make it extra corny. And help to thicken the soup.



Brownies before a trip to the oven. And yes, those are raspberries. It is summer, after all.



Finished brownies. Super fudgy.

And some sparkling lunch conversation...about what else...basketball.

M: I'm torn about this first draft pick. I think the Clippers should trade it off for some one else.
C: Like who?
M: I'm tired of Baron Davis.
C: Ha! Well..I think your Clippers are interested in Griffin.
M: I'm not convinced about him. We have a great team tho!
C: (silence, stares, blinks)
M: What?? We do! Why does everyone look at me like I'm a dumbass when I say that! We just need a training camp.
C: Umm... (insert your fav Clipper joke here)

Study minutes count: 0

Bottleneck seems to be at eating.

To Whom It May Concern...

I'm writing in regard to my recent experience...

That's usually how these letters of mine begin.

Anyone who knows me more than about a week, knows my penchant for letter writing. Call it complaining/whining if you will. But, I've never really subscribed to the belief that "life just isn't fair sometimes"...so when I feel like I've been wronged/slighted, I write a letter. I've got nothing to lose. I'll always have my dignity.

And I've kinda got it down to a science.

I know that when you write a letter, you need to have good details and facts. Names, dates, places. You also need to know exactly what you want, and ask for it. Even if you think it's out of the question. Let them to be the one to tell you no.

And don't be discouraged if you don't get what you want. Or if they don't reply. It happens.

But sometimes, I just write letters for laughs. Everyone needs amusement.

Most recently, I wrote into Sobe via their "contact us" link. This, in regard to a disgusting flavor concoction called "Yumberry". Here's how it went:

dear sobe lifewater,

i'm writing in regard to your yumberry lifewater. there is nothing yum about this berry. consequently, the name is quite the misnomer...some would say false advertising. please consider changing the name. i much prefer the goji melon flavor. now that's yum if i've ever tasted it. would you be able to send me some of the goji melon flavor at your earliest convenience? thanks.

lifewater for life.

And! I received this prompt reply:

Dear Clarice,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us at SoBe Beverages. We’re always glad to hear from our consumers, although we’re sorry to learn that SoBe Life Water Yumberry Pomegranate didn’t appeal to you.

All consumer feedback is important to us, though, so I’ll be sure to pass along your comments to the appropriate people and departments here at headquarters. In the meantime, I mailed some coupons for your enjoyment on another SoBe product of your choice on us.

Thanks again for your input. We’re grateful for your friendship and support.

No prob. I got lots of input. I guess I'm not the only one writing in.

I know, I know. I need a hobby.

Maryn Mania

Is there any better way to spend a weekend?

Maryn Mania + Lakers win

I think not. You just try to think of something better.

I won't hold my breath.

For those of you that don't know Maryn, she is the other non-dude member in the Fab 5. She's sheer hilarity and effervescence, and school would just not be the same without her. And she bakes! Yay!

And this weekend we celebrated her upcoming wedding in August. Master-planned by Maryn's sister Ashlyn, the weekend went something like this:

Saturday, 12pm. Lunch at The Raymond, which is an absolutely adorable place in Pasadena. Half-restaurant, half-English cottage, this place also featured some pretty tasty eats.



So tasty in fact, that I forgot to take pictures until dessert. Oops! I had a yummy salad, vegetable ravioli in this awesome tomato-y cream sauce and these precious bruschetta rounds. But what we have here is a super yummy apple crisp with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce. Yummy!

Saturday, 3pm. Mani/Pedi at The Dashing Diva. I almost never get manicures, due to the copious amount of baking/dish washing I encounter. Sorry no pic. Hands were pre-occupied.

Saturday, 4:30ish. Lingerie Party at Maryn's. Ok. Now, for those of you that know Maryn, she's a pretty classy sort of girl. Going forward, we shall cover the umm...not-so-classy-but-very-funny portion of the party.



Oh! Candy! Heyyy...is that a....ohhh... Yeah, that was kinda my thought process when I saw this little candy display. Everyone had to have some sort of this paraphanalia. I had a necklace. At least it was edible, too.

And now...what's a party without balloons?



And presents...



And! An amazingly delicious cheese platter!



Brie and Humboldt Fog goat cheese??? Words cannot describe. What's that? You've never heard/sampled Humboldt Fog goat cheese? Enjoy.

Saturday, around dinner time. Saladang Song. Famed Thai restaurant in Pasadena. Even though I was a few drinks (ok..more than a few drinks) deep, I managed to reprise my role as food paparazzi.



Veggie rolls.



Grilled pork with rice noodles.

And much more.

Saturday, after dinner-ish time. Off to Magnolia, a cute little lounge with really amazing and creamy mac and cheese. Topped with toasted breadcrumbs. As with most bachelorette parties, Maryn was given a series of tasks to complete. But perhaps almost as fun as actual task completion, was finding guys to do these crazy things. I tried my best to help, but seeing as how it is the NBA Finals, and I am a Lakers fan, I inevitably got caught up in some trash talk. Sigh. In my defense, these guys were sort of d-bags, and not sports fans at all. Didn't even have a team. The worst kind.

I gotta say, I did sort of school them in some basketball trivia...if you even want to call it that. I mean, they were from Portland...and they didn't know what idiot...I mean player calls himself the "yellow mamba". Please. Pathetic. They even had the nerve to say that the Lakers ruined the Blazers chances at the WCF. They didn't even play the Blazers! That was the Rockets! Sigh.

Saturday/Sunday. Time unknown. Back to Maryn's. Sleep in preparation for Sunday brunch.

Sunday, 10am. Brunch at La Grande Orange. Just steps outside of Maryn's apartment. I have major LGO envy. Lemon ricotta pancakes are the thing to have, but I was in need of something savory.



Prime rib hash topped with an easy-over egg. Soooo wonderful.



Three words. Homemade English Muffin. And repeat. Soooo good. So. So. So.

Congrats Maryn!

Mamma, there goes that man again!

That man being Kobe.

Of course. Is there any other?



Heck no. (That was a rhetorical question)

The Lakers cinched this years Championship! And I feel like I did too...almost. Ok, not almost...but I'm really excited/happy/ecstatic/thrilled/overjoyed/(insert your choice superlative here) for them...and of course for Kobe.

The Lakers made short work of the Orlando Magic in 5 games...and yet I am a little sad as I have arrived at a realization:

Basketball. is. over.

Over? Am I over, too? What about the mvpuppets??

Side note: I luv those mvpuppets!!! Who knew felt + basketball = pure tv commercial happiness. Check out my favs here and here and here. In the last one, please note the place setting for Kobe. It's all in the details.

Sigh.

This happens every year. This time when basketball season wraps up...but it's not quite football season either. What's left? Baseball? You've got to be kidding me.

Some things I'll miss: (in no particular order)

1. Kobe's expressions: Never before has any player's simple expressions gotten such hype and analysis from the media. I found them to be amusing.

2. SVG: And no, I don't want to date him. But he is, in my opinion, the most entertaining coach to watch. Although, D'Antoni also ranks pretty high in my book in this regard. SVG still takes the cake. He's like Oscar the Grouch...but without the trash can...and not green.

3. JVG: Ah yes, the ying to SVG's yang. I think you either luv em or you hate em. And I luv him. If the mvpuppets are pure tv commercial happiness, then JVG is announcer happiness. Who else tells kids at the Lakers game to refuse gifts from the Celtics? And who else has the brass cajones to call Manny Pacquiao "Manny Pacquiana...or whatever" on live tv?!! Only JVG. He gets me. Every time.

4. Sasha: The Machine. That hair. That headband. Those wild shots. That nonsensical defense. And yet, noticeably absent from the Playoffs. The machine needs new batteries? I think yes. Or maybe, just a new headband.

5. The other teams: As much as basketball is about your team (and by that I mean, the Lakers), it's always fun to hate other teams! I mean, what is sports without trash talk? It gets everyone all fired up. Some of my fav teams to trash talk include: the Celtics, the Blazers, the Suns, the Spurs, the Nuggets (gosh I hate the Nuggets), the Jazz and the Clippers, just for kicks. Not like they have fans, anyway.

6. Seeing greatness. How often do you see greatness...like this? I know, I know. The video lags. But it's worth it to see amazing happen. Seriously. Be amazed.

7. Multiple daily visits to Yahoo! Sports. One of my fav pasttimes. I luv Create-a-Caption and the Ball Don't Lie column. I mean...I guess they'll still be there. But but...just not the same post game. Sigh.

8. The ridiculous one-liners from the announcers. "Boom Boom Pau!" "Pau Wow!" "Too much English off the glass." "Hand down, man down!" And my fav..."Mamma, there goes that man again!"

Something I won't miss: That dude Sun Yue. Let's take a quick peek at his stats...shall we? Check it out here. In the 2008-2009 series, he played 2:47 seconds. There are songs longer than that. I feel like I might have played more than he did! He's useless! It really upsets me to see him. Sitting there. Blank stare. Sitting. I mean, better sitting than playing, but still.

Just look at him. Just not for too long.



Who sits like that?? Yeah, I can definitely wait until Sept/Oct to see him again.

To Pee...or Not to Pee...

Not a good thing to ponder.

And yet, I did. At about minute 30 of my 100 minute strategy class.

Why? Because my professor, who by the way bears a STRIKING resemblance to the Soup Nazi is the potty patrol. Takes his job wayyy too seriously.

Mmm...soup. What is Mulligatawny soup? I believe this is what Jerry ordered.

In case you haven't guessed yet, I'm back in class. Relevant costs. I promise this will only go on until the end of basketball season.

And what a sad time that will be. For me and basketball, that is. Not these silly blogs.

Game time. Go Pau. Boom boom Pau. They're down. Superman shooting ft's. Mike wants him to make 1. I'm gonna punch him. Misses the first. Misses the second. How bout that Fortress of Solitude now, Mike? Mmhmm...

84-87. I'm really sweating it over here. :10.8 to play. People in back of me talking about plays. I don't appreciate. Fouls. No fouls. They won't let him touch the ball. Blah blah.

Ohh. JVG. Always a day brightener.

OHHH!!! FISHER!!! Always been in my good graces. :4.6 to play.

Is LO drinking OJ? That would upset my tummy in such a stressful situation. But I guess the Candyman can.

87-87. OT! I luvvv OT!

He turned it off!!! Cecil!!

It's back! Yay! Fisher! Again! How many times have we gotten to say that this Playoffs?

99-91. LA. Whew!

Mike looks teary. I like.

As I was saying, I try not to think about life post-Lakers.

I guess my life will default to baking and cooking. Not a bad thing. I'll get to make more of these:



Strawberry cake with brown sugar, sour cream and whipped cream frosting.

Question of the Day: Why Am I in Class?

Especially when it's Game 3 of The Finals.

I apologize for the stream-of-consciousness nature of this blog.

Welcome to my life in class.

Well, I guess I'm half in class, half watching the game (albeit horribly pixelated) and blogging in between. Apparently midterms are coming up. Huh?! Don't they know I have Game 4 and Game 5 and Maryn's bridal shower extravaganza this weekend?

Did he just say closed notes?

Whatev.

Big batches = bad idea. (writing this down) Justin.tv keeps ending my feed to the game. Sad.

Gametime. End 1Q. Lakers up 31-27. Yay!

My Ops Mgmt teacher looks like Henry Winkler aka "The Fonz". If only he wore a leather jacket and slicked his hair back. Maybe I'll suggest it on his midterm review.

Set up costs/set up time/economies of scale. (more writing). "How many of you have a bank account," asks the Fonz. Weirdo.

Game's back. Question to self: Why does SVG have a yellow paper hanging out of his jacket at each and every game? Plays? Chinese take out menu? 5 step anger management card? Your guess is as good as mine.

Cocktail or punch? Not this crap again. Apple juice + orange juice? Would I want 8-ounces or 22-ounces? How bout none, buddy. Apple and orange juice aren't a match made in juice heaven.

"Reduce set up time". He wants me to write this on my bathroom mirror. This is what I pay for. Pearls of wisdom.

Random thought: Why do men wear pleated pants? It's sooo not attractive, on anyone. It just adds more volume to an already problematic area.

I hate watching the game without sound. Game pixelated visual + Henry Winkler audio = no fun

Why am I here?

"All of this leads to lower costs..." Huh? All of what? Crap. I missed all that.

Kristen's cookies? This case again? I can't believe this was an actual business. Those cookies sounded terrible. 1 tray...2 tray...relieve the bottleneck. Cookies don't care about this stuff.

My sister: "I don't think there's a new MVPuppets commercial..." She's depressed. Distressed, almost. She's quite smitten with these plush Kobe and Lebron look alikes.



Amusing. Look at their little shoes! Adorable!

I've officially tapped out of Operations Management for tonight. Try again next week.

Lakers down at the half. 54-59. Poop. What am I gonna do for next 20 mins? Pay attention? I guess I could try. Uh oh. Mike is reading earlier post where I ripped the Clippers a new one. Hehehehe. Some people can't handle the truth.

Dell...hp...why doesn't everyone just get an Apple?

Tata??? This is the name of a car company. I like.

7:24 pm. Help me.

Maryn looks tapped out, too. Head on arm on binder. Still trying to take notes tho. Chin up, soldier. She's got a hold of a paperclip. Well...it was a paperclip. Not sure what it is now. Oh! She gave it to me. A gift. How nice.

Why is The Fonz talking about toner? Drum? Key electronical component? How does he know all this stuff? I wonder if he worked for Canon. And if he did, did his uniform consist of pleated pants? Hmm...

feedrollers.com? Again...I pay for this??? Why am I here? At least it's half time.

Side note: (the hated) Steve Nash is doing sideline commentary for Letterman. Of all people. Let's get Chris Bosh back. At least he's not washed up. Did I say that? You betcha.

Getting out 4 minutes early for Kobe! Maybe The Fonz isn't half bad after all.

Mike has taken my iPhone hostage once again. He's on a mission. After he read that entry too. Sheeesh. I'm bracing myself. He's giggling. I'm concerned.

And no, I don't want a date with SVG. No. No. No.

Exhibit A:



Geeees. I don't think he's even cleared for take off.

I was just given an oreo truffle!!! Class is looking up.

Just saw Maryn's gorgeous engagement pics! I luv their candidness! So not posey. Cecil (teacher) busted us. Rebels.

"Good evening, and welcome to Game 3," says my Cost Accounting teacher. Precious. His South African accent makes me feel like I'm in Hogwart's School of Accounting. And he leaves the score up for us. What a guy.

Now for a recurring thought: Is it just me...or are Dwight Howard's jerseys getting progressively smaller and tighter? And smaller. I shall ponder the mystery of his disppearing jersey in another entry.

Frozen yogurt just arrived via cardboard box delivery! Thanks Jenny and Karen!!!

4Q update. 93-88 Orlando. 6:17 to play.

I wonder what ridiculousness SVG is up to right about now...(and no, I don't want to date him)

Cecil's looking stylish today. Let's check out the pants...shall we? Pleated. Sigh. Triple?! Wow. Intense. Nice belt tho. No, I don't want to date him either. No funny ideas, Mike.

Kobe has evolved from warrior faces to teeth baring to jersey biting. I'm excited to see what's next!

Wow! 95-93 Orlando. 5:00 to play.

99-97 Orlando. Why am I here???

Cecil put the game on. Yayyyyy

101-102 Orlando

101-105.

Breathe. Breathe.

104. The ol' foot on the line. Good job Skip.

102-104.

Inhale. Exhale.

102-106.

Heart palpitations. Glaring at Mike. Angrily. He looks content. I could punch him. Scratch that. I would punch him. Parking lot. I've been watching Goodfellas.

104-106. Orlando. Sigh and Sigh and Hmph. Gotta luv that hustle at the end.

Cecil's scribbling something on the board...11.72? And I have a midterm next Tuesday?

Mike: "Did you know that Dwight had more FT's than Kobe? Did you know he had a better percentage than Kobe?"

me: (shrugs) "Superman."

Mike: "You can't beat Superman with Krypton. In the Fortress of Solitude. Game Over."

Huh? Clipper fans. Go figure. Devoid of logic.

I'm now completely lost in Cecil's class. 40 minutes left. Problem. Seems to early to tap out. And yet, I've lost the will to go on. Why Lakers??? Why.....

Solution: I'll just stare.

Lots of blue shirts today. Tally, you ask? Sure. 19. Wow. Coincidence...or conspiracy? You be the judge.

I think he pointed at me. Cecil, that is. Unsettling. I think he's hip to my beat. I don't like being found out. No ninja does.

We're supposed to be working on a problem. Good thing Maryn knows what's up. $10. Yessss.

Speaking of Maryn, if you scroll up, you may recall that it's her bridal shower this weekend. She doesn't look ready. hehehehe. Not that it matters. Her guests are ready.

Uh oh. This problem has a Part 2. Maryn? Great. She looks lost, too. Steveeeeeeee...

Steve's working with another group. Again. WHATEV. Never go against the family. Never. Someone needs to watch The Godfather.

9:31. Light at the end of the tunnel. Should I go to the gym? My legs hurt from yesterday's run. I need new shoes. Aasics? I wonder what Kobe runs in? I'm gonna ask him in the post-season.

People in front of me just high-fived for getting the right answer. Who does that?

Update: Maryn's ready to parrrttyyy! Yay! The white wine sangria runneth over! Homemade english muffins??

Go forth Cecil says.

And that's class.

Aloha.

Forgotten Photos

School has left my blog life in shambles.

And for what? So I can get an f-in "B" in Marketing??? Don't even get me started. I will say this once: she has knee-envy. A severe case. Can't say I blame her.

Sigh. Studying is overrated.

This entry is dedicated to all my recently undocumented foodie adventures. In no particular order.

Yummy dim sum lunch at 888 Seafood (or bat bat bat, if you're Chinese-Chinese) in Rosemead/San Gabriel. The little round ones with shrimp (in the foreground) are my fav.



Look fun with shrimp. I'm not sure what it's called here on the Mainland, but in Hawaii, this delectable steamed noodle dish with sweetened shoyu is called "look fun", pronounced "look foon". Tasty no matter what you call it.



And my favorites of favorites: steamed manapua! Otherwise known as char siu bao. I luv luv these little steamy buns and their uncharacteristically (and unnatural) red color. I ate all three. Voluntarily, greedily and happily.



Cheese plate at AOC (tapa-ish place) in LA. I don't remember all the cheeses...but I know the left one is manchego, the middle...I don't know, but it was my fav...and it was buffalo. And the right was was wayyy to ripe for my liking.



Left: Chicken liver bruschetta. Slightly mineral-y for me, but good. Right: Rainbow beet salad, of course.



Pan-roasted trout with plumped golden raisins and smoked tomato oil. Now, I don't normally go for freshwater fishies...but the smoked tomato goodness was fab. And so was the trout.



Not pictured: the most amazing ice cream cookie sandwich! Toasted coconut ice cream with oatmeal lace cookies with candied macadamia nuts! Yummyyy.

Coconut-crusted tropical french toast at Plum's Cafe. Strawberries, bananas, papayas and coconut?? Sold. They had me at coconut. But...zesting an orange over butter and calling it "orange butter"? Umm...sure. Pass the syrup, please.



Smoked salmon hash. Something different. Yummy? Yup. Yummier than the eggs benedict with that deliciously rich hollandaisse? No ways. But then again..not much is. Except maybe said french toast.



New plant, meet old plant. My new chocolate mint plant, Minty. And my sturdy little cactus. My cactus dies every so often, but always manages to ressurrect itself. Such a soldier.




Gruyere, rosemary, sun-dried tomato and black pepper biscotti...and a sprinkling of Parmigiano. Liberally adapted from Gourmet magazine. Savory is sooo good sometimes.



Homemade Oreos. I know what you're thinking. Are they really like oreos? Well, yes and no. Yes, they are chocolate wafer cookies with a creamy filling, but the similarities end there. These homemade ones are chocoate-y delicious, and I'm going to go out a limb here and say the creamy filling is better than an oreo. But, I could be...ok I am biased. But look at them! Adorable!



Lemon muffins topped with raspberries. I used Meyer lemons because when they're in season, they are my lemon of choice. Lemon luv, if you will. The raspberry you plop on the top of each muffin bakes up into a sweet little surprise. If only they stayed in the middle...sigh. I guess looks aren't everything.



Hey...is that...nooo...is it?? (In the flannel, btw)



It is!!! Justin-Bobby from The Hills! Holy moly! I knew I'd recognize that dirty hair anywhere. Well, Jeannie did. And she took this pic. Skills.



So Jeannie and I had our Justin-Bobby sighting while having lunch at Eat Chow, a new place in Costa Mesa. We missed the breakfast! Just missed it. Like...we saw everyone else eating french toast. Sad, I know. But lunch was still yummy. The restaurant is a cute little spot right off Newport Blvd and shares walls (and window space) with a small clothing store. The food was surprisingly good.

Jeannie had the turkey burger with side salad.



I had the roasted tomato basil soup and Spanish roasted chicken salad. How could I not order something with Marcona almonds?



And we shared the hummus with basil oil. I thought it was served with pita...and not pita chips. Oh well.



Whew! Can't believe I ate all of that. Well, ok...I guess it is somewhat plausible. And by somewhat, I mean entirely.

Tickets, Anyone?

I have arrived at the conclusion that it is practically impossible to get tickets to the Finals.

And by practically, I mean completely, and by that, I mean from Ticketmaster.

I can't say that I'm too surprised. It's the Lakers and Kobe, after all. You'd be crazy to not want to go. Right, Mike? C-r-a-z-y. And Mike, before you give me some bs about the Clippers blah blah blah...getting Blake Griffin...let's see what Page2 has to say...shall we?

Q: Did your Clippers just win the draft lottery or did Blake Griffin lose it?
--Chris, Brooklyn

SG: Both

Q: Does God hate Blake Griffin?
--Bill, Danville

SG: Possibly.

Q: As a Longhorn fan, I was rooting for the Clippers to get the No. 1 pick just so I could see them destroy Oklahoma's Blake Griffin. What a franchise!
--Ray, Austin

SG: Yup.

Ouch. Enough of that.

Back to real talk: the Lakers. Confused about this whole ticket non-acquisition situation, I decided to Google "how to get Lakers Finals tickets". Pathetic? Check. Desparate? Double check. Completely useless endeavor? Without question.

But our friends at eHow did have this helpful tip: "How to be a Laker fan". Really?

The opening line says, "If you want to prove you're super cool, become an LA Lakers fan." Intriguing.

Apparently, Laker fan-ism can be yours in 4 short steps.

1. First you have to buy all the team paraphernalia. Your going to need a pretty big collection of the popular fitted hat. No collection is complete without the Three peat hat. A couple of Lakers jerseys, signed of course, various bumper stickers, key rings, shot glasses and all the other trinkets your friends and family are sure to get after they are aware you are fan.

2. Know the basic lingo, especially if you are a women. Foul shots, free throws and it called dribbling instead of bouncing the ball.

3. If you don't live in Los Angles season tickets are out of the question. So, you need to square it away with boss that you will be needing all the televised games off, or least you need to get off early in order to prepare.

4. This may be the most important step. Make sure that you have plenty of your favorite adult beverage and snacks. You don't want to be left thirsty before the end of the game and if your wife is a fan too, she isn't going to make a beer run for you.

Ridiculous.