You Know It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp

You ain't knowin.

Seems like no one is safe is these recessionary times.

Take for example this married Chinese businessman. In today's tough economic times, he decided that he could no longer support his wife and five (yes, five) mistresses. So in an effort to cut back, he decided to have...a beauty competition, where all but 1 mistress would be eliminated. Sounds like a typical VH1 show? Well, here's the twist: the mistresses don't know any of this! Although, I'm not really sure how you could not know...or at least be slightly suscipious. Especially if someone from a modeling agency was juding me and my fellow mistresses on...

1. appearance
2. singing abilities
3. drinking abilities

Hmm...well, from the looks of it, I probably wouldn't fare very well in this competition. Except for the drinking abilities. I think I got that one. Or I could at least practice it. But who's to say I'd even get that far? Especially with these ears. The first mistress to get eliminated was based on appearance alone. (Ouch. Guess you either got it or you don't.) Although, I think I would've taken the defeat a little, well...less violently.

This mistress tricked the other mistresses and the dude into going on a little road trip with her. And that's when she decided to drive off a cliff! So much for sightseeing. This murder-suicide attempt resulted in a suicide only, with the dude and his 4 remaining contestants surviving. But although he escaped with his life, his remaining 4 mistresses and wife all left him. So much for the competition.

In keeping with the competition theme, I hope everyone made room for the NBA All-Star Weekend! The only parts I was really interested in was Sunday's game and of course, the dunk contest...a favorite of mine. And this year was no different. In fact, I couldn't be happier! I, of course, voted for Nate Robinson... can you guess why? And no, it's not just for his dance moves or even his impressive dunk in the final round, although, both those things definitely helped his cause. Let't not forget, that he's only 5'9...and that might be even a little generous. That means he's only 6 inches taller than me! Well...6.5 be exact. Maybe there's hope for me, too. Just maybe.

And what does Kobe have to say of about sharing the floor with the Big Cactus?

“We are not going to go back to the room and watch ‘Steel Magnolias’ or something like that,” Bryant said. “You know what I’m saying, crying, all that stuff. We had a good time. That’s all.”

Heartless. I like him more and more everyday.