Adopt a Curb

In an effort to generate additional revenue, the City of Irvine, with the help of the Irvine PD, has implemented the "Adopt a Curb" program.

Heard about it? No? Here's my curb (as shown by the pink arrow):

It's on Jeffrey...right before Irvine Center Drive. As a frequent patron, the City is looking into getting my name spray-painted there. I'll be infamous...i mean famous, and so can you!

In just four quick and easy steps, you too, can adopt a curb in Irvine.

1. Drive the same route almost every day so the police can get acquainted with you. If you drive past train tracks, this is an added bonus. Police love train tracks!

a. Note: The same route is key here to claim your curb. This ensures that the police can pull you over at the same location each and every time.

2. Incur a minor traffic offense, such as window tinting. Now they really know you. Perfect!

3. Gradually work your way to a more major offense...like using the a turning lane to merge into traffic. They love that.

a. Optional: Unintentionally insult their partner.

4. Repeat!

Yes, it really is that simple. I should know considering it was how my morning unfolded.

I was on my way to work on Hawaiian time. And traffic always backs up at Jeffrey and Walnut, partly due to them taking away a lane (turned it in a right turn only lane into the plaza), and also because there's a lot of construction going on from there until Irvine Center Drive. Let me tell you, it's a problem every morning. You have three choices:

1. Use the left lane (most crowded). This lane overflows with cars because it takes you to the 5S, so that backs up, which usually causes you to miss this light. If you do get lucky and catch the light, you'll have to get out of this lane ASAP anyway because the traffic backs up a lot again at Irvine Center Drive again for the IVC students.

2. Use the middle lane (2nd most crowded). This lane is not ideal because it incurs traffic from cars that use option #3, which is...

3. Use the right lane (least crowded) and cut people in middle lane off. My daily choice.

Admittedly, my choice is really not the right choice, but it is the most efficient. And who isn't a fan of efficiency? MR = MC? Don't act like you don't know.

Luckily, the cop was pretty nice this time...though he still gave me a ticket. We bonded over having iPhones, his kids, my stress from school. He asked me when my last ticket was, so I of course share with him my tinting fiasco. Since we're buddies, I let slip that the lady cop that pulled me over was mean.

Nice cop: "Was she Asian?"
Me: "Yeah".
Nice cop: "Younger?"
Me: "Nah...she was more middle-age...short hair...attitude..."
Nice cop: "Really? I know her. She's my partner."
Me: (Gulp) ...... Huh...how bout that...

I almost felt rude not waving to her. Geeees. Ridiculous.

I'm thinking they should spray paint my curb, "Adopted by Clarice". And who knows...maybe they'll extend this program from curbs to stop signs to intersections to major through-fares maybe even round-abouts. The possibilities are endless.

*UPDATE!* 11.7.08

In happier news, finals are pau. And I couldn't be happier. I can finally reacquaint myself my two fav past-times of sleep and cooking...and not thinking about micro econ. Can I just say that my econ final sucked? This is in contrast to my original belief that I personally suck at econ. I have since revised this thought. I don't suck at econ...that test sucked. That's right. Blame game. I used it.

Here's how the econ final went for me:

#1 - Couldn't get this to calculate. Disheartening. Skip.
#2 - Huh...just as bad. Hands start to get clammy. Guess...no skip.

New strategy! Do the ones I know first. I could use a confidence booster. Network externalities! Yay for vocabulary. I finish the ones I know, or think I know...total = about 10 (of 50).

Confidence crumbles. I could use a cookie.

It was a twisty, downhill spiral from there. I resorted to semantics to eliminate answer choices. Even MR = MC couldn't save me at that point.

But every cloud has a silver lining. I'll have to get back to you on the silver lining here. I'm sure it's there...subtle, but there.