JCVD is OMG

Ya heard.

For those of you non-JCVD fans, (and I'm sure there are many) that's Jean-Claude Van Damme...just when you almost (or already) forgot about him.



In a sort of art-imitating life movie, JCVD tackles perhaps his biggest role to date...himself. He is a washed out movie star, watching his career and personal life swirl down the toilet, culminating with losing a part to Steven Seagal. Ouch. Talk about adding salt to the wound. So he heads back to Belgium to start anew. Perhaps to open a pomme frites shop? But alas, our hero JCVD somehow gets tangled up in a bank robbery. Though the police are quick to point the finger at him, his fans cheer for his innocence.

Still not convinced? Check out the trailer here.

But before you think JCVD is one-dimensional, I must tell you that he is a self-proclaimed dancer.

From Wikipedia:

"Jean-Claude Van Damme received a minor head contusion whilst dancing in a night club. Van Damme reportedly took centerstage at a New York night club, pushing men and women aside saying, 'Oh yeah, I'm good' when asked if he could dance. It was reported that Van Damme then performed his famous leg split and when rising to his feet, an alleged attacker punched him in his forehead, leaving him unconcious."

And, in touch with his feminine side.



If that's not OMG...then I don't know what to tell you.

Speakin of OMG, today was my first sample sale experience, and the sample du jour was designer jeans. Now, I know there was a time when I swore that under no circumstances would I ever buy a $200 pair of jeans...especially when this could save this money for a KitchenAid. But! If you felt how soft and cuddly these jeans are (who knew jeans could be cuddly?) you would understand. And besides, not like I paid rack rate for them. But then again, I did get two pairs.

Though, I must admit, the jeans were not the highlight. It was instead this lady I chatted up while in line. Clearly, this mother of 2 boys (ages 2 and 4) was a seasoned sample sale veteran. She just couldn't believe it when she saw other mothers there with children in tow.

Sample Sale Vet: "I couldn't bring my kids here."
Me: "Why not?"
Sample Sale Vet: "I would have a conflict. I would say, sorry child, I can't decide between you and my jeans!"
Me: "Ohh...hahaha."

Turns out Sample Sale Vet is a 6th grade teacher. Says that hubby promised unlimited plastic surgery for her if she has a 3rd kid. How romantic.

Me: "You don't need plastic surgery. You're so thin."
Sample Sale Vet: "Sometimes I tell my students that I'm running on caffeine and concealer. So they need to back off."
Me: "Ohh...hahaha."

Sample Sale Vet is not hip to text talk.

Sample Sale Vet: "These kids talk in text! OMG...what is that anyway? It's like pager codes."
Me: "Ohh...hahaha...yeah...who does that? Kids..."

Thankfully, the doors open and they let us in. Overall, it was pretty organized...though the community fitting rooms were an experience. It was like the locker room at the gym all over again. Though the focus here was designer jeans, they did have other merchandise, like this prime Ed Hardy number.



Oh yeah. If only they had this in my size...could've been the best $130 investment ever.

And now!

According to Arif...

He was on a roll Thursday night. I could hardly keep up. Thankfully, Maryn helped me fill in the blanks.

- "What did you call a Japanese car in the 1970's? A joke. " He giggles and follows up with, "No offense." Yeah, none taken.

- Apparently, a McDonald's fountain drink dispenser is a bell curve in action...something about 16-ounces.

- In case you didn't know, a mound looks like a mound.

- In keeping with the bell curve theme, "do you think IQ is a bell curve," he asks. "No," he answers his own question. "Which one do you think there is more of?" He laughs hysterically...again.

- Now, before you think he's only racist against Asians...
"Chebychev, Chevy Chase...you know, he has a Russian name, which means we have the liberty to misspell."

- Silence of the Lambs reference...finally! "Hannibal Collector was desparately random." This was in regard to his random variable definition...a variable that is random.

- "You didn't get the joke...ok."

And...

Aunty Trudi's Truisms...

(Aunty) Trudi is our Managerial Perspectives teacher...and while she is not nearly as entertaining as Arif or Selby, she has her moments. On Thursday night, she shared with us an opinion of some dude she heard on the radio. Apparently, Asians are predisposed to math because our ancestors cultivated rice, which, by the way, is no simple task. It is supposedly very meticulous and requires some major math skills. I mean, wow! That explains everything! Perhaps California should include rice growing as part of the curriculum for students.

Lessons from today:

1. Never buy stamps on an empty tummy. Just look what happened.



Obviously, I was mesmerized by the yummy fruits. So much so, that I failed to realize I bought a book of 27-cents stamps. Hmph.

2. When wearing a light-weight jersey cotton dress...avoid standing by doors that create draft. Case in point. At Whole Foods today, I was picking through a nice selection of green beans near the entrance when all of a sudden, conditions got very breezy. And well, I'm sure you can figure out the rest. Needless to say, I was shame, and there were no green beans for dinner tonight.