And Tonight, He Sleeps With the Fishes

It's a Sicilian message.

And it's the first thing I thought of when I saw this video of a cheery chick showing the world how to humanely dispatch of a lobster. I use the term "humanely" very loosely, as you can see...there is nothing but murderous killing going on in that kitchen.

How to Kill a Lobster

Not that this is news. You basically want to freeze the lobster to "numb it slightly" as the video says, but also slows down the movement of the lobster to make it easier to handle. Mmhmm...now the truth comes out. Notice how the little legs are squirming around even in its final moments. Then, one swift chop down the middle of its head, and it's lights out lobster.

Oh...what's that? The legs are still moving? Perfectly normal. It's just the nerves reacting. Hmm...great.

But this has nothing to do with the reason why I don't care for lobster. It's just not texturally pleasing to me. And essentially, lobsters are giant bugs. Cockroaches to be exact. The likeliness in anatomy is pretty amazing.



See? Ignore the fact that one is a cartoon.

I've actually never really ordered lobster until I went to Mexico for Juliet's wedding last September. Which really was an adventure in itself.

We stayed in Rosarito, and apparently, the neighboring city Puerto something has lots and lots of lobsters. So we ventured down there for lunch one day.



In a taxi van with no seat belts and no license plate.

But before the lobster, we were served tortilla soup.



Bowl 2 of 3 in 3 days. I'm convinced that the avocados taste better in Mexico.

And finally, the main event.



Nothing like beer at 11am. I wonder if these lobsters got the popsicle treatment.



Probably not.

This was wayyy better than the lobster.



Lobsters and Lakers. My day was complete.

Speaking of the Lakers...Ron Artest??? Yes, yes and yes! Sorry Ariza, it was great knowing you...really it was. And I'm sorry that Houston will have ridiculously high (and unattainable) expectations for you. Life's not fair, I know. But hey, it could be worse...you could be on the Clippers (ahem, Blake Griffin).

Artest wins all day any day. I see this taking his hair styling and video blogging to a whole new level. I can hardly wait!

And how about that sports writer messing up Paul Pierce's craps game at Vegas. And then turns him down when Pierce offers him shots. My hero. I couldn't have done better myself! Well, maybe I would've said something like..."please! You didn't even make it to the small screen as a Nike puppet!" Oh how I miss those puppets.

Is it basketball season yet? Ok, football. It's almost football. Sort of.