Cold Hands, Cold Heart?

Hmm...this would explain a few things.

And all this time I just thought I had bad circulation.

But according to Ellen K on 102.7 this morning, it could be much worse.  Or better.  Depending on who you ask.

And no, I don't listen to Ryan Seacrest every morning or most mornings or even some mornings.  Because if I have to hear that Kesha...Keisha...whatever song one more time I'll go bananas.  It's more like a consequence of radio channel surfing, and I hear either Ryan or Ellen says something absolutely ridiculous.  And my interest is piqued.

So was the case today at around 7:45 a.m., I heard Ellen talking about 5 physiological secrets every dude should know about chicks.

5 things.  Girls can be summed up in 5 things?  Not even 10?  Maybe 7?

If only this was so.  Is it so?  Let's see.

1. Don't Get Women Drunk

Men and women get different kinds of buzzes: Men lose inhibitions, while women become sedated. If you're looking to get her into the party spirit, don't feed her more alcohol. Instead, play great party music. Research shows that mid- to fast-tempo music will make her more social.

This was just depressing.  Does this mean an end to free drinks as we know it?

2. Women Start Fights When They Feel Ignored
They are trying to force emotion out of you. Don't retreat into your cave; just give them what they want: some attention. And never say "calm down," it's a guarantee that they absolutely won't.

 This was just upsetting.  We're people!  Not puppies!  Girls feel ignored when you don't buy them drinks. 

3. Women Can Be Manipulated With Scent. 
Her sense of smell is sharpest first thing in the morning, which makes it the best time to impress her with  warmed banana-nut bread, which has an aroma that, according to one study, increases bloodflow down South.

This was just disgusting.  How could they say such things about banana bread?  Warmed, no less.  I think of many things when I bake banana bread and that is not one of them.  Again, we're not puppies...or bloodhounds for that matter. 

4. Cold Hands = Cold Heart

Women have colder hands than men - almost three degrees colder, possibly more if she's stressed. Women's bodies, even more than men's, are programmed to keep their cores warmer than their extremities. So if her hands are chilly, she's not so sure about you.

My personal fav.  If you believe this, then there is definite reason for uncertainty.

5. Breathing Is Key

Want to know if it's a good or bad time to broach a tricky conversation? You can tell if she's relaxed by her breathing. If her stomach pulls in with each inhalation, she's taking shallow breaths from her chest, which indicates stress. Keep your distance.  If her abdomen and chest expand with each inhalation, she's taking deeper, more rhythmic breaths - a sign of relaxation. Good time to talk about anything - you will most likely get your way.

You know when deep, rhythmic breaths occur?  During sleep.  Good time to talk about anything.

So yeah, take it from Ryan.  Don't buy girls drinks, bake loads of banana nut bread if you know what's good for you and wait until she's fast asleep to have conversations. 

And this is why I never...hardly ever listen to Ryan Seacrest.  Ok, Ryan's roses...sometimes...but that's different.  Kinda.