As you may have guessed (or know) last night was Halloween for me. After many unsuccessful costume searches, I decided to go with my homegrown housewife costume. I have the most adorable apron, and with the help of few, carefully selected accessories...voila! I was a housewife!
I think the spoons (I had 3 spoons to start the night) really made my ensemble. But I am especially attached to the fluffy feather shoes.
We kicked off the night at Maryn's (aka Tooth Fairy) with a few shots of frosty Scope. And then we were off! A tattooed Brian (aka Axel...and he really looked like Axel) drove us to the LBC in record time...even in the presence of the LBC Community Police. I'm still not clear what "community police" is...I wonder if it's similar to what Dwight (Honorary Sheriff of Scranton) on The Office does.
As with all Halloween parties, the people watching was fantastic. Some of my favorite costumes include...hieroglyphic man (head-to-toe spandex gold body suit with black hieroglyphics), the frog prince (Brenden in the Pho Sure blog entry), the one-night-stand, complete with bra and trashy morning after note (Dan, Core 1 President) and the cave people. But, my absolute favorite costume was Mr. T! (Michael). Totally did not recognize him!
I have to admit, my "costume" paled in comparison to these other costumes, but that doesn't mean it didn't garner any attention. See below.
Michael Jackson: Hey, what are you supposed to be?
Me: A housewife.
Michael Jackson: But you can't turn a ho in a housewife.
Me: (Blank stare)
Thanks, buddy. Lucky for me, I have high self-esteem.
Remember how I started the night with 3 spoons? I told myself I would be happy coming home with just 1. And so it was. I just wish it was one of the slotted ones. I had 2 slotted and 1 regular...now I am left with 1 regular. One of my slotted spoons is in the toilet on the boat...it fell out of my apron pocket. I stared at it sadly and waved goodbye. I have no idea where the other one ran off to.
After such nights, next day coffee is a must...and so is a tasty pastry or two. I decided to use this opportunity as an excuse to make another trip to 85-degrees bakery. Sadly for me, I had no back up shoes in my car, so I rolled up to the bakery in my red featheries. Stares and giggles ensued.
I got a green onion roll, strawberry bread and iced coffee. Yummy to the tummy. It was worth the stares.
3 comments:
You wore the red stilettos to 85 degrees?! HA HA HA!!! I love it! I still can't get over the Indiana Jones incident last night. So sad.
I wish I had seen the Housewife and the Tooth Fairy in all their glory.
And. I just wanted to inform you that the comment you received is a direct quote from the lyrical poet Ludacris' eloquently named song, Youz a Ho: "you can't make a ho into a housewife...hos don't act right!"
So take heart, Clarice. Not so much a personal attack as a random rap quote. I know this important fact, as well as many others. Like this one: people at 85 degrees may have mistaken your costume for The Morning After Walk of Shame outfit. Which perhaps made the prior night's comment prophetic, in a way. There is wisdom in Luda.
Ha! I love how you can quote Luda with such ease!
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